.Tuesday, March 25, 2008 ' 8:18 PM Y
blogged
i told myself that i would get over you, and i'm trying so hard to. it's not easy, damn it. i wish that there was a medicine to stop this pain that is inside me, to prevent tears from rolling down my cheeks everytime i think of you. i swear that this is the hardest path i've ever taken.
i wonder how you're able to do this, to live evryday as if nothing has happened, and that all this is just part and parcel of life. it's not easy. it's reali not. to look at all the memories we once shared. i need to get over you, i know, but how? whatever anyone tells me now is not gonna work, because i myself need to be permenantly convinced.
why, ken, why?i reali did try my best. i gave as much as i could give, if not more. everyday is a living nightmare for me.
i wake up crying, and drag myself through the whole day. i smile in front of my family memebrs, but no one knows the pain that this is causing me. life has to go on, i agree, but how?
how to do that when my heart is bleeding? when my heart is so cold? when everything seems to go wrong? did i reali deserve this ending? i constantly ask myself this.
was it really my fault like you put it? up till now, you're still adament about the fact that you're right and i'm wrong. i'm past trying to argue it with you le.
all i ask is for a simple explanation but all you can do is shrug your shoulders and say i duno. eveytime i try to clear the air with you, you say that i'm trying to argue thigs with you. but how can i talk so unpassionately about something that means so much to be, albeit it means nothing to you?
i have so many questions, unanswered. i have so many speculations, unaccounted. why? why are u so cruel to me? why are u so selfish? a relationship concerns 2 people, not just you or me only.
why can't u see that your actions affect 2 people? you were my
everything, and that's where i was wrong. i was wrong to put my stakes on you. dead wrong.
reminder to self : never be too dependent on anthing, esp if it has to do with a guy.
