.Saturday, April 5, 2008 ' 9:02 PM Y
blogged
detachment. this is all i've gotta do now. it won't be easy, it won't, but i gotta do it.
i got to learn how to not care about anything he does. be blind to the things he does, be deaf to the things that he says.whatever he does will be his business already.
not mine, but
his. he doesn't sms, fine. he doesn't call, great. he doesn't care, den brilliant! yes, this is the
metality that i need to have. concentrate on every other thing. sooner or later, i'll be over this de. sooner or later.
i'm always torn, always. he just has to be nice for me for one sec, and i'm back. but what am i suppose to do? but its ok.
just let me struggle first. reali.
let me do things my way. if i want to fall, just let me fall.
at the end of the day, i won't blame anyone de. i promise i won't.
i got my own reasoning, i got my own set of rules. this is gonna be bumpy and it'll be driving me mad, but i deserve this, and i'm gonna live like this.
concentrate on other stuff. concentrate and focus. you can live without him de. you can and you will.
there are good times, hence there will be bad times too. this is just one of the bad times. ___________________________________________________________________ you know what, much as i want to get married, i'm scared of marriage. looking at my parents, my sister and i both have a phobia of it le. a serious phobia. what is the use?
if in the end, it's gonna be more fights and quarrells den there's no point. everyday come back home, see the same face, get bored, become quiet and colder to each other.. these are justthe beginning of all the problems. it seems as though it's hard to love someone and just accept everything that you feel that is not right with you.
ish. there are just so many problems, so many. this is irritating. forget la, forget.
reminder to self : no promises, no attachments, no feelings
