.Wednesday, May 21, 2008 ' 8:08 PM Y
blogged
whoa. i'm so freaking pissed. again. no prizes for guessing who the culprit is. ya. i know we're over. but after yesterday.. he seemed so.. nice.
anyway, today he was very nice to me too. and it wasn't as if it worked only one way. i was nice to him too i guess. i wanted to meet up with him today, but he said he needed to study. so fine, go ahead and study. i was it's ok then. we'll see each other another day. but you know what he ended up doing? sleeping and playing DOTA!! yes. and i specifically told him that if he abstained from DOTA and studied. but did he manage to do that? no! he's addicted to that darn game.
plus, he's always screaming at me, and yelling at me. ugh. whatever. i think my life was much better without him in it. for awhile it seemed just the opposite, but i think life has a tendency of deluding people. or rather, people have a the tendency to delude themselves.
breaking up and patching back. breaking up and patching back. when will he let me go? why can't he understand its either he breaks all contact with me, like jun chong did, or take me back and reali try with all his heart to make up for lost time? these things only happens in novels, i swear. i'm gonna start writing a book, based on my life experience and i promise you, i'll get it published one fine day. i will. and the star jerk will be non other than him.
i truly resent the life that i'm living now, but there's not much i can do about it either. i'm really sick ad tired of him constantly shouting at me, not trying to do anything about whatever wrong he has done, and it isn't so much as to get down on your knees to beg forgiveness, he just doesn't try and say sorry at all. it's as if the whole world owes him like that.
i'm tired. reali reali tired. and i hate myself for saying this everytime, coz it seems as though i asked for it. ahh... gonna give up on this stupid life soon. plus, the way he can pretend as if everything is all right makes the whole thing worse. i swear. he just continues whatver he is doing, without a care in the world, and like the whole thing is my fault, and gives me the cold shoulder. sorry. it used to work on me last time, but now, i know it's just a ruse to get me to think that i was wrong, that i should take the blame for stuff, blah blah blah..
so now. i shall wait until he calls, if he doesn't, then forget it. not gonna contact him also. crap.
