.Monday, June 2, 2008 ' 10:07 PM Y
blogged
every morning i wake, feeling like crap.
in the past, i used to love waking up, looking at the
beautiful sunshine and feeling like you're
on top of the world. now? i just wanna lie under the covers and wish that i wasn't on earth. you know, sometimes i half hope to wake up in heaven, maybe i died in my sleep or smth.
after i wake up, it gets
slightly better. watch abit of TV, particularly cartoons and reality shows. it gets my mind of things for awhile, but not of much help.
then comes the afternoon where there isn't much tv shows on. i gotta rack my brains for things to do. yesterday i managed to hang out with my frens. today? i think i'm gonna clear my wadrobe and my bed. and if i have the time, i wanna do some painting. then after that, if i'm still free, i'll go blading. how's that?
i bombarded him with like 10 msges and 10 calls yesterdy night. cried from 8pm to 12pm. think its not gonna be any better tonight. but oh well. like what everybody else says, i'll survive. with scars, sure. but
i'll survive.maybe one day i'll be able to sing songs like
over it by katherine Mcphee, over you by chris daughtry and
i survived you by clay aiken. i'm looking forward to that day, really looking forward to the day that i'll rid myself of all the hurt and pain that you caused me.
eating anything seems like a chore, sleeping seems like a task that is impossible, smiling seems painful and thinking of you, well, seems suicidal.painandhurtisalli'mfeelingnow.
love is giving someone the power to hurt you, but trusting them not to.
guess i was wrong to believe in a liar and hope that he'd change for the better.
my bad.
see? this is why people get less and less hopeful about things as they grow older. thanks to
people like you, ken.
three cheers and three cheers and three cheers for ho ken!
hip hip, hooray!
hip hip, hooray!
hip hip, hooray!
sigh. told you i'm going mad soon.
