.Friday, June 13, 2008 ' 11:49 PM Y
blogged
why does he keep sending me mixed signals? i sorta thinks he wants this relationship, but on the other hand, he doesn't want to do anything about it.
why?
my mum always says that i'm too trusting. which i think is true. i keep thinking that its ok to let people know about me, and what u see is what you get. i thought the same way when i was with ken. i let my guard down. let him see all my weaknesses, and everything that i fear or am scared of, i guess he knows. but at the end of the day, that's where i was wrong.
i gave him the power to hurt me, but i trusted him not to. in the end?
guess i shouldn't let my guard down so easily.
at the end of the day, he doesn't even sympathise with me. and everytime i think of him, where there was pain in the part, now just becomes an imense sadness.
my schdule is booked to the max, but why am i still feeling so empty? i mean, it doesn't take long for me to give in to sms-ing or calling him, and i think that sometimes, i let him back into my life back to easliy.
in the end? the one who gets hurt first? me.
i don't see any guilt, remorse, or even a tinge of sadness in his life. i never understood how ppl can say one thing, but do another. in my world, i was brought up terming them as, 'hypocrites'.
and nothing good comes from that term.
i'm trying. i think if the phrase 'trying too hard' exists, then i'm there.
no one understands. i swear.
its like i'm in life's deepest darkest pits. can't get out though.
