"what happens if we don't end up together?"

this was a question that i used to ask when we were still in a relationship. but this time, you were the one posing the question. my heart ached. it hurt so, so bad. i was sobbing so hard. ironically, when one is in a relationship, this question seems irrelevant and taken lightly, in jest, but when one is on the verge of losing that relationship, everything seems to be more important and there seems to be a consequence to answering that question...

sigh.

i thought about it long and hard. but i still couldn't think of a satisfactory answer to give you, and i still can't. whatever i said, was trying my best to encapsulate everything, but to no avail. here's what i think would happen...

i still love you, and i always, always will, irregardless of who i become, what i do and everything else. i would wait for you till i'm 29, as promised, but on the day that i turn 30, i'll give up. no more, no less. from 30 to 55, i'll fully concentrate on my career, and i hope to have enough money to migrate. i'll most probably migrate to australia, gold coast. i would love to spend the rest of my life with you there, but i guess, if i have to go there alone, in attempt to forget the times that i had, i will.

i will get a house as near to the sea as possible, and every morning and night, i'll be thinking of you and reminsicing about all the times that we had. our plans, our dreams, our wishes, our songs, our time spent together.. i will never forget them, as long as i live, from the botton of my heart. sometimes, i may think of you and smile, other times i may sob very hard, but definitely, definitely still miss you. 1 year, 10 years.. they say time will heal all wounds, but it can never take away the ache that will forever be in my heart. i guess i'll live every day of my life wondering, "what could have been..."

this is the path that we both have chosen i guess. i've told you time and time again that the ball is in your court, and i really have no way of making you stay, so i shan't. i'll wait, for as long as i can, that i promise you.

if you really find another then i wish you the best in your life and i'll give the both of you blessings of lifelong happiness, but my only wish is that you won't forget me.

in my heart, your place is irreplaceable and i hope that mine is to..

there's not a day that passes by that i don't think of you.

i hope that admist it all, you'll know that i do still love you, ho ken.

Name: God's princess
Age: 21
School: NTU
Church: JCC (:
D.O.B: 22nd Jan 1988
"trust no one, but yourself"

to love God wholeheartedly
to be content
to go overseas to study
new life
to get a car
successful career
to be able to forget

"promise me that you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

ross
Chloe
fren
Edith
Jun Hao
cuilin
min hui
juliana
debra
jason
kimberly
hannah
ruth
linnet
li ying
mand
jo