.Thursday, September 11, 2008 ' 8:26 AM Y
blogged
1) i detest driving anywhere near you place (and i would specially do a detour to avoid it)
2) i abhor the fact tt i'm not able to have fun in the things tt i love bcoz they remind me of you,
and 3) i hate myself for even thinking of you still (you're so not worth it)..
yet, why do i still do so? why do i still miss you? and everything reminds me of you. from movies, to places, to occassions, to people.. there's no running away from you, as much as i want to. nothing is enjoyable anymore. feels more like i'm trying to run away, to avoid, to just get by..
nobody can fault me for not trying. but i still have a very very soft spot for you. i'm willing to let myself be taken "advantage" of, even if i know i'll end up cut and bruised and nothing good will come out of it because i still love you. if this is eros love, than how much greater agape love is..
i'll go into lapses occasionally.. no, correction, frequently. bouts of crying, thoughts of dying, tell me, what have i not gone through? it hurts just thinking of you and another girl, but i'll still
ren.. i'll hang on and wait, just because i love you. no more, no less...
sometimes, i'll smile, sometimes i'll cry, sometimes i'll just be angry, other times irritated and frustrated, but above all, i know that God is in charge, and i'm just gonna leave this entire mess into his loving hands. that's all i can do now, my hands are reali tied....
here's a short shoutout to the people who are there for me still, after listening to all my whinning and being there for me. muacks! love you all. josel, mindy, min hui, charis, evon, linnet, roger, joyce and ross.. i can never thank you all enough for the love you've showered on me. i only wish i can do more for you guys. i promise you i'll try..
happy birthday mindy! (: PJ was fun.. though i thoughts of you were nagging me at the back of my head. but its ok. i'll be fine. i will..
