Someday never really comes, does it?

.Wednesday, October 15, 2008 ' 8:57 AM Y

blogged

i still miss you. perhaps miss is not an apt word. think of you? whatever it is, thoughts of u still plague my mind. perhaps after a romance show? or anything that has a romance element to it... that's why sometimes, i'm afraid to face the world, knowing that i'd be bitter about such things. things that i used to love and like, i've slowly come to learn to let go of them. it's reali sad. looking back at the times where i reali thought like a kid, disillusioned by love and its romaces as told in novels and movies and shows... these do not happen in real life, i've come to know.

If I touch a burning candle
I can feel no pain
In the ice or in the wind it's all the same
Yet I feel my heart is aching
Though it doesn't beat it's breaking
And the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
I know that I am dead
Yet it seems that
I still have some tears to shed

it's not that i'm trying to be emo here, but these are just real human feelings, that's all. i don't trust myself to talk to you. and up till now, i still haven't conquered my fear of going on msn. it's silly, i know, but its just.... just me. still, at times, i wake up, hoping to get an sms from you, but i don't. den again, there are times i'm happy with the way things are. sad love songs make me think of you, but happy ones, make me think of u even more.

got many many things to do. there are essays, readings, PJ h/w, cell, role play, french tests, the upcoming play, loose ends to tie up, miscellaneous stuff, exams... swamp-ed so many many things.

but i'm reali glad that i have good times too. the chalet that i had with roger's cell was incredibly fun. thanks to the ppl there. we played and talked and played on the beach till about 4 am. haha. incredible times. there were laughter, there were tears, everything included. the games and the bbq was superb! was trying to serve the guys, but i think they didn't notice.. haha. oh well. we're doing it for the glory of God, not men. (:

i'm reali reali packed, i mean seriously. i'm kinda booked till the end of october. haha. crazy schedule! but it beats sitting down, doing nothing but mope everyday i guess.

give thanks.

note to self: need to upload photos of our crab-eating session and my lecture slides soon. grr.
_____

here's a song i heard whilst watching tim burton's corpse bride.
(nice in a weird sorta way i guess)

MAGGOT
What does that whispy little brat have that you don't have double?

BLACK WIDOW
She can't hold a candle to the beauty of your smile

CORPSE BRIDE
How about a pulse?

MAGGOT
Overrated by a mile

BLACK WIDOW
Overbearing

MAGGOT
Overblown

MAGGOT AND BLACK WIDOW
If he only knew the you that we know

CORPSE BRIDE
(sigh)

BLACK WIDOW
And that silly little creature isn't wearing his ring

MAGGOT
And she doesn't play piano

MAGGOT AND BLACK WIDOW
Or dance

MAGGOT
Or sing

MAGGOT AND BLACK WIDOW
No she doesn't compare

CORPSE BRIDE
But she still breathes air

BLACK WIDOW
Who cares?

MAGGOT
Unimportant

BLACK WIDOW
Overrated

MAGGOT
Overblown

MAGGOT AND BLACK WIDOW
If only he could see How special you can be
If he only knew the you that we know

CORPSE BRIDE
If I touch a burning candle I can feel the pain
If you cut me with a knife it's still the same
And I know her heart is beating
And I know that I am dead
Yet the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
For it seems that I still have a tear to shed

MAGGOT
The sure redeeming feature
From that little creature
Is that she's alive

BLACK WIDOW
Overrated

MAGGOT
Overblown

BLACK WIDOW
Everybody know that's just a temporary state
Which is cured very quickly when we meet our fate

MAGGOT
Who cares?

BLACK WIDOW
Unimportant

MAGGOT
Overrated

BLACK WIDOW
Overblown

MAGGOT AND BLACK WIDOW
If only he could see
How special you can be
If he only knew the you that we know

CORPSE BRIDE
If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain
In the ice or in the wind it's all the same
Yet I feel my heart is aching
Though it doesn't beat it's breaking
And the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
I know that I am dead
Yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed

i'm glad i've got friends like the maggot and the black widow. if not, i'll be way more emo than the corpse bride. but in a way, i do know how she feels. the irony? she's dead and i'm still living.